He’d remove the lid of the toilet exposing the refill tubes, take the hose off the tube and use it as a bidet. Then he’d take the shower curtain and make an air tight seal over the toilet tank and poke a hole, he sits on the hole and makes a new air tight seal and starts flushing the toilet, this creates a slight vacuum effect causing the water on his man seal from the bidet to evaporate a bit faster than being exposed to the air. Then he stuffs the curtain into the toilet clogging it and breaks off the float in the tank, the room very slowly floods with water, right as he is about to run out of air he takes a deep breath and starts shoving on the door and with the water filling the room there is enough outward pressure for the door to fly open and both he and the bathroom attendant are able to escape.
The fact that he purposely fills the room with poop water to make a dramatic escape.
And he wasn’t even stuck in there. Just the way he exits all rooms.
Try finger but hole
Shove toob up my ass, poop through the toob, no poop on my ass, go about my day
Fuck you’re a genius.
Poop Chute 3000
This should be a legit tactic. I’m selling these tubes next year to my neighbors to see how well the product is received
A true entrepreneur
Take the cardbard roll, crumble it, wet it, unravel the layers, and use them as wet wipes. Definitely not as good as a 4-ply toilet paper, but does the job in a real pinch.
Can confirm.
PSA: The poop knife is there so you can also rob other stalls of their toilet paper.
I’ve peeled these apart before and used that. It wasn’t great, but it worked.
Use the shower curtain
Process the roll into scrapers to get clean enough, then source to/wipes.
There was an old reddit post, or maybe funnyjunk, where someone said they crumbled up the tp roll in their hands from the start of the shit until it wasn’t hard anymore. There was a picture too, not sure how I would find that
Refill the roll from the supply closet.
We’re missing way too much context here. Public or home? My home or someone else’s? How many other people are nearby? Which body parts are involved? If this is a poop situation, how much and how firm? Is there a bidet/hygiene sprayer?
Depending on context there are many potential solutions:
- Waddle to another stall/undersink cabinet and look for spare rolls.
- Sacrifice “lefty” until you can get to the sink.
- Sacrifice undies forever, tossing them in the trash.
- Use the tube as-is.
- Use the tube after wetting it.
- See if there are paper seat liners that could be pressed into service.
- Or, y’know, ask for help. I understand that in certain conditions, three squares to spare should do it.
- Pull up pants and move along. Make extensive and unfriendly eye contact, implicitly daring anyone to say anything.
- Move into the stall permanently. You’re a toilet-human now.
check your wallet for receipts. use a sock or two.
This seems to be a really practical McGyver advice 💪
Cut out three cardboard seashells.
This is the correct answer. But we can do one shell and a tube by tearing a scallop off the back of the tube. With the front (still circular and structurally sound) you scrape everything off. The seashell can be used at the end to scrape out the tube .
Now just need to get the three seashell folks to adopt the tube shell.
One time I was looking for a rental in the country…this place was in the middle of nowhere, with a sketchy ass entrance and two huge collapsed barn buildings full of just delightful gross appliances parts.
I mention all of this because the tour was self guided…no one had been there for a minute,.but some one left odur of destruction bathroom…not a roll of toilet paper in sight.
Some times… when my mind drifts I find my self wondering what that person did. It was a terrible definitely haunted ass haunted country VA house. Maybe the mystery stinker was trying to claim their terrible prize…the layout totally sucked too…super old and impractical and impossible to make not gross.
Thanks for going on this journey with me
He’d change the damn roll and not expect someone else to do it.