I’m torn. Both Galadriel and Sauron say the other is a threat to Middle-earth. One has to be wrong, so whom am I to trust? Should I trust the Dark Lord who attempted to topple the White City of Gondor, dominate all life, and attempt to stay in power for eternity? Or do I trust the Elf Queen representing the coalition of Men and Elves who defeated Sauron when he tried to enslave the Free Peoples… but could maybe do more meet-and-greets?
Looks like the orcs are out in force tonight
I’d really like it if midwest.social would defed from hexbear. It’s a nice instance, but the comment sections are often a disaster.
Yeah, I swear I just heard one of them say “Looks like Geek is back on the menu, boys!”
I didn’t even know orcs had restaurants? How do they know what a menu is?!
Look, everyone is saying Saruman is just as bad as Sauron, but here’s the thing:
Yes he is moving towards Sauron strategically on specific issues, but these issues are important to his base and he has to throw them a bone.
Yes he is illegally killing Rohan civilians, but nobody claimed the defense of the regions west of his Stone Circle system would be painless.
Yes his armies look and foreign policy look eerily similar to Sauron’s, but he promises he’s trying to stop him actually.
You purists in the Shire keep saying it’s not necessary to destroy the whole forest of Fangorn but he got the endorsement of Lurtz, so he clearly knows more about politics than you do.
Anyone serious understands that resisting Sauron means voting for Saruman.
Excellent job committing to the bit!
You can selectively ignore the point @Doubledee@hexbear.net made all you like and continue to act le amused and le above it all. It’s all you got.
You should focus all your attention on the genocide of the horsemen of Rohan, and absolutely ignore the much larger genocide of the people of Gondor because they should have just surrendered to mordor in the beginning to have peace. Also mordor didn’t encourage that other genocide to distract from their genocide at all.
Signed
A concerned citizen from somewhere outside mordor like St. Brandywinesburg.
The twist is that halfling votes don’t matter because Eriador is a solid Galadriel state. The only votes that matter are votes from small enclave of erratic Men in South Gondor
Goddamn, it’s always fucking Gondor, isn’t?
The race of M*n, who above all else desire power
The dark lord has neither a healthy body nor a healthy mind. He’s spying on you all. With hiX all-seeing eye.
But as Elrond told a hobbit before:
Yet such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world, Small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere.’
I was under impression that Sauron was for order through subjugation, not chaos.
But in any case that would just make the allegory more fitting.
I don’t know that Sauron had an ideology per se, more just power for the sake of power. Which allegorically is pretty spot on I think.
Why is the hero Galadriel bragging about being endorsed by Grima Wormtongue and the Witch King of Amgmar? And what happened to all the Haradrim?
Deep cut with the Haradrim, I’ll give you that 😉
😉
She wants to fill your farmland with trees! Useless trees! No more taters or pipe weed! Good luck digging a new burrow with all those roots. Speaking of roots, did you hear about the Ents? All they do is destroy our towns, ripping our dams apart so they can drink all our water. Horrible, horrible creatures, and they will tread all over your flower gardens if you let this self-centered “elf queen” have her way!
Way too coherent, try again
Both sides are bad because the elves had rings and Sauron had a ring. See, both the same!
both
sidesteams are bad because they both support genocide.You haven’t seen Galadriel in office.
There were literal wars when Sauron was in office, started by him.
I would to vote for someone who isn’t immortal but NOOOO that’s throwing my vote away
Okay but the real question being asked is “which of the two should we give the One Ring too?”
And the answer may surprise you!
Literally the message of Tolkien’s writing, yes. The good guys sought to destroy power, not wield it.
When in doubt go for chaos… NO DONT I AM KIDDING
Was worried that the actual Onion had posted Liberalism, but thankfully it’s some knockoff
Ok Bill Ferny
Was Galadriel pledging strong endless support for a genocide? I don’t remember that part of the books if I’m honest.
Hmm, let me guess, you’re voting for Grima Wormtongue?
Didn’t Galadriel straight up say that if she were given the power of the Ring she’d turn into a tyrant? Like, if the choices are Sauron (tyrant, given the power) and Galadriel (tyrant, given the power) it seems most correct to pick Frodo (trying to unmake the source of corruptive and destroying power).
Like, if anyone wielding the Ring for any purpose will be subordinate to its will no matter their intentions, and ultimately will subjugate all others, then the dichotomy is not which wielder, but whether the Ring should exist or not.
For the purposes of the satire, they left the ring out of it. Otherwise it’s just a Monty Python sketch and would be about “the violence inherent in the system” 😉
And as I commented to someone else who picked Frodo - he too gave in to the ring in the end and was only saved by someone biting off his finger that had the ring on it. He’s also an upper middle class nepo-baby who’s a landlord. If you’re going to pick someone else, you have to go with proletarian Samwise.
For the purpose of the satire, they left out the whole point of the books, which is something you’d know if your knowledge of LotR wasn’t based entirely on cultural osmosis.
You don’t know what satire is, do you? And man, with everything else thrown my way because of this post, insulting my nerd cred is a low blow even for someone from hexbear. I thought you all at least had standards!
You don’t know what satire is, do you? And man, with everything else thrown my way because of this post, insulting my nerd cred is a low blow even for someone from hexbear. I thought you all at least had standards!
😉
I’d vote for Frodo, since he’s ignoring all of the ridiculous political bullshit and actually trying to do a revolutionary act by building a fellowship and working together with his friends to destroy the source of the evil rather than fighting over who is the best one to control the evil.
I swear it’s like you people haven’t even read the books!
Ahh, yes, Frodo. The one who actually gave into the ring and was only saved by someone literally biting it and the attached finger off.
Also, brave call to say that Frodo exerted an ounce of agency. Frodo was a puppet of the existing power structure and elites who essentially got tricked into going without understanding what was at stake, repeatedly put the ring on despite Gandalf telling him not to, got stabbed and almost died, and then because no one could trust anyone else with it, was the default choice to keep going with a group he had no say in creating.
If you were going to pick someone, you should at least have gone with Samwise.
Talk about someone who hasn’t read the books.
Frodo was saved by the community he built along the way. That’s why we build community in the first place. Media literacy isn’t that hard if you put your mind to it!
He was saved by Gollum biting his fucking finger off, but sure. Keep simping for your rich, nepo-baby, landowning bourgeois. Find it hilarious seeing someone from hexbear backing the landlord in the story.
In one of Tolkien’s letters, he specifically says that if Gollum had been redeemed as much as he could, he would have taken the ring and jumped into Mt. Doom voluntarily.
Bourgeois? That sounds like communist talk. Are you some kind of tankie?
No, but would’ve loved when Frodo got rid of Sam, if Sam has said “See the violence inherent in the system! Help, I’m being repressed!” 😄
And yet I don’t find it surprising that the ee is backing genocidal maniacs, that seems pretty par for the course
Liberals can only imagine last minute ass-pulls saving the day and devalue anyone and anything else striving to avert calamity. Otherwise, it’s all Adults In The Room that Make The Hard Decisions and Get Shit Done by reinforcing the status quo.
And judging by how you’re talking here, you identify as one such Adult In The Room that Makes The Hard Decisions and Gets Shit Done by reinforcing the status quo.
Find it hilarious
Sure you do.
Ahh, yes
That’s such a tiresome and arrogant Reddit-standard opener for your reply that I’m doubting that “withsoul” part of your name.
It’s the only way to break the system!
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