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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 on 2024-11-08 05:01:02+00:00.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Under__control

I (M31) am unsure how to feel about my gf’s (F27) bizarre hobby. Need advice.

TRIGGER WARNING: Involves spiders

Original Post  March 12, 2015

My gf (M31,F27) and I have been dating for just over a year, this sounds so cliché, but she is almost perfect for me; she is really into health and fitness, has an excellent career that she worked really hard for, is great in bed, kind and intelligent. But…

She lives in a basement suite which is nicely decorated and she keeps very clean. Any of you that have lived in a basement suit before know that, no matter what you do, you get bugs: Ants, piddle bugs, beetles and Spiders.

I spend a fair amount of time at her place and noticed right away that there was a spider in almost every corner. I asked her about it and she told me she doesn’t kill them because they eat the other bugs… Ok. I did some light research and sure enough she was right. I found it a little creepy but not a deal breaker… Here is where things get weird:

About a week and a half ago I was using her computer and noticed a spread sheet called 'babies", curiously got the best of me and opened it. She loving named all of the spiders, kills the other bugs and feeds them to the spiders and keeps track of it all in a creepy rear end spread sheet! She keeps track of their “food”, their color, size, web size and some other poo poo that I didn’t really understand,

I closed the spread sheet after I realized what it was about because 1 felt bad for snooping and was honestly pretty disturbed,

I really love her and don’t want to break up but am afraid that this is a sign of mental illness Has any one ever heard of anything like this before? Should I say something to her? Is it ok for me to ask her to stop? Is this really that big of a deal?

TL;DR: Gf is a crazy spider lady

EDIT: 1 know I’m an rear end in a top hat for snooping

EDIT: we live in Australia

RELEVANT COMMENTS

[deleted]

I think the big take-away from all this is that you should never… like NEVER… kill a spider around her

OOP

No shit hey lol

~

wolfhawk706

You’re 31 and you’re unsure how a little interest of your girlfriend for over a year makes you feel?

She’s just logging spider data, heaven forbid she ever does anything truly bizarre, you might go in to shock…

OOP

You don’t think it’s weird? At all?

pancake_ice

So long as she isn’t bulking them up to have a spider fight club I think you are ok. Yes, it is weird, but I think collecting stamps is weird. I suggest asking her about it. Apologize for snooping and ask her (but don’t accuse her) why she enjoys her hobby since it is freaking you out so much.

TOP COMMENTS

jdyoun02

Honestly, I think this is an adorably bizarre hobby. Let her have her quirks. This is pretty goddamn harmless in the grand scheme of things.

OR

Freak out over this, confront her and break up in 6 weeks. Your call, dude.

EDIT: OP, you do realize that people collect spiders, right? It’s a legit and perfectly acceptable hobby. If the spiders were in cages, you probably wouldn’t think twice about this. She’s basically just a free-range spider collector. Big whoop.

amberrr626

I had a huntsman in my house for about 6 months, I named him Jeffrey. I was absolutely terrified of spiders since I was little, so having Jeffrey around was great. I learnt that he didn’t want to bother me at all, I watched him hunt. It was super interesting. Learning about your fears is an awesome way to confront them. Perhaps this is what OPs gf is doing. Either way, it’s a pretty awesome way to learn about them!

OOP

Hahahahah.

Maybe I can convince her to cage them. This is so fucked.

jdyou02

“This is so fucked.”

Oh my sweet summer child… if this is blowing your mind then I’m worried for you.

Update  Apr 3, 2015

Original post: gf won’t kill spiders in her apartment. Found a spreadsheet on her computer named “babies” keeping track of all of the spiders in her apartment.

So I took all of your advice and tried to embrace this part of her life. It was our anniversary last week and I decided to get her a spider themed gift. I was at the mall and one thing led to another and I ended up buying her a pet tarantula and an aquarium for it.

She loved it but…

I noticed the beloved spiders disappearing from around her apartment over the last few days. I asked her about it and turns out she’s been killing them and feeding them to her new tarantula. I don’t know how I feel about this. First she is calling them “babies” and now she is killing them… Arggg I’m just trying not to think about it and hoping she doesn’t find a better bf to feed me to one day. Lol oh well.

TL;DR: I bought my spider obsessed gf a pet tarantula and she is slowly feeding her smaller spiders to it.

Edit: someone sent me a helpful message about spider food/care etc. and it occurred to me that she might not be able to afford real food for it, although she has a higher salary than me, she is aggressively trying to pay off student loans so has virtually no extra money. I’m going to buy her a gift card for the pet store tomorrow. Thanks reddit!!

Edit: apparently spider food is very cheap, still gonna get her the gift card in case it needs anything else I didn’t think of.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

[deleted]

That was a thoughtful gift, good job! Big spiders eat little spiders, I wouldn’t worry too much about it… she has a REAL pet spider now, one that you gave her! it sounds like you solved the problem of having wild spiders walking around the apartment AND you made your girlfriend happy… everybody wins!

OOP

Thanks :)

~

[deleted]

lol you gifted her the spider so it is something that is way more important to her then the so called babies take this as a sign of her love for you

OOP

I hope so ! Thanks :)

&

She named it “fluffy” and, unfortunately, takes it out of its cage quite often. She will hold it while we are watching movies on the couch lol I pretend not to be afraid of it.

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