The calamari rings are a bit chewy.
Take your upvote, for a full on belly laugh with an aftertaste of disgust.
OK, standard charcuterie board… Wait… Is that weed? And blow? And are those condoms? OhShit. You got gummy worms? I’m down.
Don’t forget the coffee beans next to the cheddar
I don’t think chicken nuggets are standard either…
They should be.
You pre open the condoms? That can’t be good.
The crumbs add texture
Makes cleanup tastier!
and taste
Putting them next to the cheeses really enhances the smell
Those are just the display models, so you can smell them.
You have to air them out first and maybe rub some coke on them…
I don’t see any dates on that board.
There are a couple of items I would replace with more cheese
Yeah that coke and weed is taking up some valuable cheese real estate
I would replace all the drugs, candy and chicken nuggets(?) With good cheese, real bread and maybe a couple of fruits (grapes, cherry tomatos, blueberries)
The drugs need to stay but earwax cheese and open condoms need to go.
Yeah the condoms. I’m not getting laid lmao that entire board is a party for 1 in my book
Swap the condoms for a buttplug and some lube !
The coffee and cocaine is there to counter the side effects of weed and whiskey. Not sure why the condoms are there though because after that much coke weed and whiskey you won’t be able to feel your dick anyway.
Sounds like a sequencing issue to me
Not sure why the condoms are there though because after that much coke weed and whiskey you won’t be able to feel your dick anyway.
Maybe for you rook. If that is good blow you might be thumbing in a gummy, but you’d feel it just fine.
I don’t think those gummy worms are meant for insertion. That could lead to a nasty yeast infection.
Worms are meant for the mud hole.
Pushing rope and smoking dope.
You want a slice of salami after we do a line?
Maybe roll up the salami and snort it through the meat straw?
Mmm. Wet.
Helps with the drip
Definitely roll up the salami and snort it through the meat straw. FTFY
No, that’s for after the weed
I love charcuterie. A lot. It’s like my favorite goddamn thing the fancier the better I will start adding drugs though. As a side, my wife calls it “sharp coochie” and thinks she a goddamn comedy genius for it. She looks forward to saying it
That’s funny, I like to use “shark coochie”
she must like that one movie.
Teef
😺🦷
😬
I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with those loose coffee beans but sure!
You put them in a condom, shake wildly, and then lick each coffee bean for extra strawberry flavor
Hmmm
They should definitely be chocolate covered. I’ve had those and they’re excellent.
I thought they were pistachios
Also, why do we need coffee AND cocaine? I feel like the caffeine is just superfluous at that point.
For tomorrow morning?
Or the ass.
I hate to be the party pooper, but is that coke or fentanyl?
Its 2023, so it’s better not to assume
I mean, there are so many drugs that just come as a white powder.
And it’s just a picture on the internet, so the white powder doesn’t even have to be a drug.
Coke with fentanyl in it.
With a trusted source, you can absolutely get bangin fent-free coke.
Yeah, because coke dealers are so often trustworthy people.
This may be contrary to common sense, but all a good dealer has is his reputation and the quality of his product.
If you lose one, you lose the other.
You’re right and I think that is common sense. However, there are also many drug dealers operating in a captive market that have neither a good reputation nor a quality product but still move lots of drugs.
It’s for that exact reason that I support decriminalizing recreational drug usage as a whole.
If we can get some regulation into it, and maybe get some taxes out of it, then things could improve for a lot of people,
I guess it all depends—maybe I’ve just been blessed!
it’s 2023, so … a little of column A, a little of column B
It’s a good spread, but it should be sorted into courses so that you’re not mixing savory and sweet, uppers and downers, etc. at the same time and not overwhelming your date with choice paralysis.
You missed a “snorted into courses” opportunity
Wow, and they said romance was dead!
Are those finger condoms?
They’re almost the size of the bottom of the cup how the fuck big do you need it to be?
Needs to fit balls too
Cups, shot glasses or strange glass thimbles?
Look, idk about OP, but waaaay early on in my first days of sex, one of the sets of condoms we got just wouldn’t fit.
There she was waiting for me.
“What do you mean it won’t fit?”
“It won’t stretch enough to get through the ring.”
“That explains a lot.” (It took her a while to get “used to me”)
It’s only been a problem with two kinds, so I avoid those.
They can be
FINALLY, something my size.
My what big fingers you have …
If you present me with this then we’re already married.
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Don’t threaten me with a good time.
