I don’t really do anything worthwhile. Or at least that is what it sounds like when it is talked about. “You didn’t have to do that” “you don’t feel like that do you” I must really not be good at anything, and I really did think I was helping. But I guess I should keep to what I am good at, being in the way.

I have what I need, a place so no one will need to deal with clean up, and I have the know how. Courage is the thing I need and let me tell you my courage grows everyday.

I will probably delete this when I wakeup in the morning because I am a coward, but soon I will have the strength and need the relief enough.

  • AkaBobHoward@lemmy.worldOP
    1·
    11 months ago

    You know how you can be told something so long you start to believe it. I guess I notice that I only seem to be in the way when when nothing is broken, but if you keep hearing it you tend to believe it. I am sure I am easy to convince because I crave interaction, they all know how lonely I am. So am I in the way, maybe not sometimes, am I led to believe that, with out ambiguity I am told that I am just a burden.

    Also, to define terms the they are my aunt, my mom, and a few of their friends. This constitutes the whole of my human interaction. I don’t believe it is a conspiracy they are just selfish people.

    Also my mom is my primary support.

      • AkaBobHoward@lemmy.worldOP
        2·
        11 months ago

        I was just going to send a little thank you note, I am holding on, I made appointments with my therapist and psychiatrist, in the meantime I will do my best.

        • Rhoeri@lemmy.worldEnglish
          2·
          11 months ago

          No need for thank you. Trying is thanks enough and all I want from you. I’m glad you’re still here.

    • Rhoeri@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      11 months ago

      There will come a time when you will not need to go to others for emotional sustenance. Wether it be self-esteem or anything else. You’ll not need that from others as you will have the ability to support your own confidence internally. Within yourself.

      I know this all sounds like complete nonsense, but trust me, it isn’t. You’re looking at yourself through the eyes of others. And this is not very healthy- especially if you have zero peripheral vision. But when you realize that you’re so much more than what others see you as- you’ll come alive. Maybe for the first time ever.

      And this will be a defining moment for you.

      Please- try and see your value. You matter more then you will probably ever know.