Do you know basketball, OP? Imagine a player camping out under the basket while the play is taking place at the opposite end? He is hoping for a long pass so that he can score an uncontested basket. This is legal, because there is no offside rule in basketball.

The spirit of the offside rule in football is to preclude the possibility of similar behavior. The theory is, no camping out in unfairly advantageous territory.

However, the application of the rule is way more convoluted. And VAR has transformed it from the policing of unfair advantages to the forensic parsing of molecular structures.

In other words, I have no idea what offside means anymore.