Some of my friends have been and I was wondering if I could learn anything from y’ill.

  • Elise@beehaw.orgOP
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    10 months ago

    My god I’m so sorry. I wish I could’ve been there for you. Especially the part about the girls is horrifying. Can you imagine what it must be like to be that small? They may well have leveled up to become Karens.

    Do you want to say anything about ASD? I have a friend that might have it and it’s challenging for me to communicate with her at times.

    Do you think bullying might be due to incompetent parenting?

    • Hundun@beehaw.org
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      9 months ago

      Thank you!

      I was only recently diagnosed, and I am into my thirties now, which means I am a “high masking” individual. I am learning very slowly how to communicate what I actually feel and think, instead of saying what “would be appropriate to hear from someone who fits in”. It can be very challenging.

      I have family and friends now who are supportive, and they do a lot of things that help: we normalized non-verbal communication (texts, gestures, etc, - I have read about communication cards as well). Also, it is ok to be unable to say anything at all sometimes, especially during an intense moment.

      Something I have noticed about myself which is also fairly typical (AFAIK) for people with ASD is that our attention and focus work differently than in most people. I seem to be unable to divide my attention up between things: I am either hyper-focused on something singular, or relaxed. So when I am focused, and something distracts me, it is distressing. Imagine someone you know suddenly startling you as you exit your home bathroom as a prank - getting pulled out of the focus feels sorta like that, minus the fear. When that happens, the frustration can be tough to control. If I suddenly snap at someone when they’re trying to reach out - that is the reason most of the time.

      I wish I could help you more - but I am only learning these things myself now. I used to really struggle with communication as a kid, and it turns out I just didn’t have access to the support I needed.

      When it comes to bullying, I think the most effective way to get rid of it is to start deliberately calling it out. This may be tougher than it sounds: sometimes we have to overcome a lot of bias and fear to call out a bully. Once I nail that, I’ll think about a way to teach it to a kid.