While growing up everything gave me the impression that sex is the best thing in life and everything revolves around it. Many of my friends had their first experiences really young and it seemed like something really exciting and something to look forward to. However after my couple first experiences I was met with the harsh reality that it wasn’t what I was expecting. I already had a long history of enjoying porn and masturbation and I then just felt like including another person added nothing to it for me. Quite the opposite really - it just got more complicated and often felt like a chore. Like asking someone else to scratch an itch for me.
I don’t know anyone else like me and I’m confused about what am I. I’m quite sexual being but I just don’t care about the act of sex itself. I resonate with a alot of things I hear aces talking about but I also feel like I’m not quite welcome in this club either.
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You could be what is called a “sex-positive asexual.” It basically means how it sounds. It does sound a bit like that, based off your description though.
It’s kinda funny. Once you get to experience the act it’s kinda like… “this is it, huh? The pinnacle of human euphoria. Huh.” I think that’s where it starts for a lot of people. They start to question of they’re “broken,” or whatever, because they don’t share the same admiration of it as their peers. That is how it felt for me anyway.
Only you can tell yourself if you resonate with it, but whatever you decide on, you’re welcome here.
I feel like you are describing exactly me! And I’m regularly not sure if I’m really asexual. But it’s not about wether you fit a narrow description, or if you can relate to every ace meme - asexuality is a spectrum, and as long as you feel you’re on it, I’d call you asexual.
Well the main reason I’m wondering is because if it’s something I’m born with then there’s no point trying to fix it but if it’s caused by excessive porn and masturbation then maybe I could do something about it. I guess it could be both too.
I think you should ask yourself if you even wanted to “fix” it if you could. Do you feel you’re missing out on something? If not, I wouldn’t care if I was born with it or not. It’s the way you are, and just because it’s not the norm, it doesn’t need fixing.
Personally consider myself asexual and I masturbate and look at porn daily. I have plenty of libido, so mostly do it to deal with that. And too ADHD to actually finish up without something constantly reminding me to that focused. I still struggle staying on task. Never tried adding another person; never seemed worth the effort (I’m also Aro). Outside aegosexuals, I feel like porn-consuming (especially visual porn; written smut seems more popular) aces are a bit of a minority. Honestly, not sure what microlabel would fit me best and don’t really care about whether I have a label or not.
Btw, orchidsexual is an ace-adjacent or greyace label for those who do experience sexual attraction but just lack interest in sex.
Asexuality is a broad term that can refer to many things. Some people are genuinely sex-repulsed, some are completely indifferent, some can only experience sexual attraction when there’s an established emotional bond, etc. All of these fit under the umbrella of asexuality.
You fit if you so choose to. It sounds to me that you have a high libido but no sexual “attraction” to people. There may be a more specific term under the ace spectrum, but the labels are really just there to help you find community.
