My manager says “hello kittys”, that one is excellent because it weirds everyone out. Especially in a button-down corporate environment.
Makes me think of that Discord role call video.
“Greetings, programs!”
pov I’m watching the ceo explain how “restructuring” 100 people out of their jobs is not layoffs because we’re actually doing great financially
Mm greetings programs in meat hardware
Oi cunts! Seems to fit everyone…
Bitches, bros, and nonbinary hoes
For what it’s worth, I don’t think “girls, gays, and theys” was ever meant to be inclusive of everyone. It’d be more like replacing “the boys” in “I was just out with the boys”.
yeah i think that term intentionally includes everybody except cishet dudes, not meant to be all-encompassing
Comrades!
This is in country that no longer exists
UGLY BAGS OF MOSTLY WATER
CRAM IT YOU WORMS
Guys, gals and nonbinary pals
I learned this one from my pal scoots.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary. It’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep!
The south, interestingly enough, always got it right: “Y’all."
More neutral than Michigan, “Alls you guys”
I learned one from a Tom Lehrer concert decades ago (I wasn’t there – it was a recording)
“As Malcolm X was fond of saying ‘Good evening to my friends and enemies. I say that because I can’t believe everyone here is my friend, and I don’t want to exclude anyone’”
I find “hello, fellow kids” is what keeps me in with the hep crowd.
Negative, I am a meat popsicle
Hello meat popsicles!
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gift
horseponyFTFY
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Subtlety is for those who lack courage in their convictions. Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
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You inferred the wrong things. I’m not Danish, I’m a physical chemist.
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That’s a very Scandinavian saying, but I ascribe to the Oscar Wilde school of thought. Moderation is fatal; nothing succeeds like excess. Of course, I know that in most things, there are a host of variables to be considered and nothing is ever truly black and white, but when it comes to humor in written form, I say go big or go home.
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Where I live, it’s not bedtime; it’s time for dinner and another beer ;)
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What’s up, fellow / you fuckin’ nerds?
WATSUP BITCHES?!
Sup fuckers and non-fuckers (ace inclusion is important)
Ladies, Gentlmen, and other androgynous creatures (odo)
Odo: the only one we don’t include in ACAB. (and even then, I mean… we kinda do)
“Mascs, femmes, and they/thems.”
Can even give it the 'ol “good evening,” razzle dazzle. In my head I always have Bryan Cranston say it like when he narrated Asteroid City.