I know it sounds like common sense, but I think a lot of us grew up with parents that made us finish our food even if we weren’t hungry. So eating more than we needed was normalized, and it became difficult to just stop mid meal.
Growing up with not much also conditioned you to eat everything on the off chance you can get a full meal. This has been a point of contention with my SO several times. They came from a well off family and they have no problem not finishing their food or not using some ingredients in the fridge whereas I’ve been conditioned to finish all meals no matter what and to be able to use up everything (not letting stuff expire) stored in the fridge.
Strong “you can’t let good food go to waste” in the post-war generation, including in my own family. It’s so ingrained even in the next generations that many of us will just “finish their plate” even though there’s no necessity there. Some of us are quite well off now, but attitudes around food haven’t changed. You have to finish your plate. You can’t let good food go to waste. People elsewhere are starving. People worked hard so you could have this food. You don’t know when you’ll be able to have a nice meal like this again.
Like you, I realized the difference when I met people from different, well off, culturally food-secure backgrounds. They’d just stop eating, and throw the uneaten leftovers in the trash. Doesn’t matter how good the food was. Doesn’t matter how expensive the food was. Doesn’t matter that you could eat the leftovers later.
I had a really hard time landing on some reasonable middle ground (you can save leftovers, but you’re allowed to stop eating when you’re full, etc.). Made me realize that it’s so much more cultural than personal. Also raises questions about what we’re going to pass down to the next generations, intentionally or not.
It’s also not rocket science to figure out, how much you need to eat and plan your groceries accordingly. I seldom throw away food or let it go to waste and I really dislike, if others do.
Same. I also don’t get the people saying it’s because they’re conditioned to clean their plate. Why are you putting so much on your plate in the first place? I get if you’re 7 and your mom’s doing it but an adult should be able to manage their portion sizes.
Because a LOT of people, parents included- have disordered eating habits and pass those on to their children.
The great depression shit again? Still is a factor in this? It cannot happen again, it factually cannot. We are more efficient at growing food than we’ve ever been.
Definitely could happen again, and will eventually happen again. All civilizations fall eventually. Current food production, transportation, and preservation is almost entirely ran on fossil fuels (fertilizer, pesticides, machinery, refrigeration, etc). Climate change will eventually make a significant proportion of current productive land unproductive. Climate change, topsoil loss, super-bugs, super-weeds, etc are also already causing problems; and many experts think the current way of doing agriculture are unsustainable.
Yeah, seems obvious but when your entire childhood is filled with shame because “there are starving kids in Africa so finish your plate”, it’s not so simple. Or when you realize that eating is the basically the only joy you have in life, it’s not so simple. Or when you have to take medications for your mental health and the side effects are that you over eat, it’s not so simple. Or when you have no time to exercise bc both you and your wife have to work to afford anything in this stupid economy, it’s not so simple.
Simple doesn’t mean easy. Running a marathon is simple, you just keep running until you get there. Yet the majority can’t do it.
For each of the scenarios you presented, there is a simple solution:
- “there are starving kids in Africa so finish your plate” - put less food on your plate
- eating is the basically the only joy you have - expand your hobbies to find meaning elsewhere
- medication… side effects - count calories
- no time to exercise bc both you and your wife have to work - make exercise part of your commute
Each of those are simple solutions, but they aren’t easy to implement. I get it, I don’t do the above nearly as much as I should; I know what I should do, but actually doing them is another story.
Keep it up, you can do it. :)
My parents stopped with that line (but Siberia for some reason) when I asked them to mail it to those kids so it doesn’t go to waste then.
Still took me to around 10 years old I think.
Also if everyone around you is eating disordered in the same way, you might never figure it out because you have no contrast (like OP).
Also shift work messes up your eating too. So, so many ways for it to go wrong.
It is fucking simple.
If this is insurmountable you are a lost cause unless you go get therapy.
Figure out how to not impress this attitude on your children. If you can’t, don’t have children.
Simple.
hey man, people have struggles. just because you don’t have those struggles, and i don’t have those struggles, doesn’t mean they’re not valid struggles for the people who do have them. a bit of understanding can go a long way. or as one of my favorite musicians once said, “a little goddamn compassion never hurt a motherfucker.”
and regardless of my personal opinion on having kids, i don’t see what it has to do with this conversation.
Who pissed in your cheerios?
me, it was me :)
Nobody, I usually fast until noon.
These are problems that are solved long term, and they are simple to fix. Maybe not for yourself, but the next generation needs a sustainable paradigm to live with.
Plan your meals with your doctor, if medication is causing it. Make sure you know if there’s alternate medication and find out if those side effects are more or less palatable than weight gain.
Reduce your reliance on work that costs you your personal health. Start giving less until you have enough for yourself. Don’t allow work to get in the way of your life on anything but a fixed temporary basis.
Sure, these things are difficult to do if you don’t have the habit, but they are simple. It’s less difficult to teach your children to internalise these things.
It’s not about you. It’s about the society around you. Push the values you want your kids to grow up with.
This defeatist stuff about how you were taught it when you were young therefore you can’t be fixed has such a blazingly simple solution.
Lazy fatsos are downvoting this. As my psychiatrist bluntly said to me — it’s not Seroquel that’s stuffing your face with potato chips.
It’s not personal choice. Create the environment where, it’s odd that highly processed foods are the default snack. Create the environment where exercising and listening to your body is expected.
I’m saying extremely privileged things, there are people without access to healthy foods. This doesn’t get rid of everyone else’s responsibility to vote in elections and vote with their dollars.
Well also being young and probably somewhat active.
But it’s a great habit to develop so you don’t put on a pound every year like the western world tends to do.
One thing that helped me tremendously since I’m a cheapskate is the realization that:
" wait, you’re telling me I will stay healthy AND save money by eating leftovers every other day!? Sold!"
It’s actually quite scary the amount of money one can save when they buy and eat food to stay healthy instead of using it to feel good ( nothing wrong with that, I just don’t overindulge in this habit)
yep. I was a rakish youth despite pounding 12 beers and chips wrapped in Naan bread and slathered in curry sauce every Saturday. I didn’t have to start watching my weight until my mid 20s.
I used to live in the US and a semi regular meal was a foot long chili dog, double jalapeño cheeseburger, tater tots, onion rings and 44 Oz cherry Dr Pepper from Sonic. I wasn’t particularly active, either. Once I hit my mid 20s I had to give that up!
It’s a depression-era holdover in the US.
I think it’s also still somewhat related to what you eat. Over the years fast food has gotten a little less bad for you, with things like trans fat and sodium being targeted. But yeah everyone’s grandma telling them to finish their plate all the time, or face punishment, definitely doesn’t help. We teach our children to gorge themselves.
Fat people hate this one simple trick.
I’ve read its also a cultural thing. As in, in China it’s considered rude to finish your meal, as that means your host didn’t provide enough food. Hence you always leave something left over. Contrary to that, in western cultures, it’s considered rude to leave something of your meal, as that means you don’t like the food.
I’m Chinese and all my family and branches of relatives all tell us to finish our food and not leave any for waste, we always bag leftovers too.
When I lived in China, my gf always insisted I don’t waste any food that we cooked. We’re both pretty thin so that could be a struggle at times. But part of the reason for this attitude is because she was raised in a village area without proper refrigeration available so not finishing most cooked foods meant risking illness from food spoiling later.
Well, I could be wrong.
I’m a 100 pound they who’s always - always - had trouble eating past the full feeling.
Like to me. Eating ‘one more bite’ past being full is worse then going to the gym and putting 20 extra pounds on.
Exceptions happen for holidays where we graze all day on many different foods. Variety being the spice of life n all.
But if it’s a 3 course meal. I’ll eat until I’m full. Pack it away. And eat later.
All you can eat places are completely wasted on me.
Sometimes with North America potions I get meals out of a 20/40$ take out.
Something that stood out to me in the post is the part about “even if they’re eating something delicious…” The reason why we stop when we’re full is that food stops being delicious when we’re full. I’m not sitting around with half a pizza in my gut thinking about how delicious another slice would be, I’m thinking about what a chore it would be to choke down another slice.
That happens to me very quickly with most foods. Even addictive snacks that other people can finish a whole bag of I find tedious to eat more then a hand full of.
A really good dessert that isn’t to rich and sugary can manage to get me to eat till I’m regretting.
IMO it would have a lot to do with parents teaching their children to “finish their meal” even if they’re full, you know, as if there’s no such thing as refrigeration.
You eat for hunger/appetite
I eat for dopamine
We are not the sameTime to find such dopamine from other activities. Food is fuel, nothing more, nothing less.
Easy to say but very hard to do when you don’t enjoy doing anything, even things you used to love.
the funny thing is that chinese food in america is like mcdonalds here for china
An easy way to do it: when at a restaurant eat no more than half of what is in whatever you order.
That’s easier in the US. It should cover roughly three or four days’ requirements.
There are definitely high calorie low weight food out there that will make you exceed your calorie count without you feeling full.
That’s when you use your evolved prefrontal cortex and stop eating the fried chicken anyway because you’ve already had three pieces.
Don’t stop when you’re full. Stop when you no longer feel hungry.
I like this a lot. The stopping when full thing has helped, but your recommendation seems better. It may require a higher level of mindfulness and self control, but so be it.
For me it requires self control to eat.
I have ADHD and can’t remember shit. Regularly forget to eat, hate making food, eating is usually a chore I seek to finish quickly so I can get back to doing other things.
Kept me very skinny so far at 30 years old!
Quantity of food: weight. Quality of food: health. Remember you can still get diabetes being slim. Also I guess health can be quantity if you become morbidly obese.
deleted by creator
The hungry feeling tells you how soon to eat, not how much to eat.
I’m sort of the opposite I always just ate however much I felt like which usually isn’t too much, now I try to actively notice whenever I start getting hungry. So that I can start eating or at least gathering food. To avoid the bad hunger.
Also pretty forehead advice.
Notice hunger -> get food.
