Has Molise legitimately never had a capped player or just not since Molise and Abruzzo split? Quite unbelievable that no player born in that geographical area has ever played for Italy, even if there are very few people there and they don’t have much sporting culture or history.

And I wish that I were playing, and suddenly I am, and I score the winning goal, and they carry me into the dressing room and there’s Rooney and Beckham and then Posh Spice walks in and…