Genuine curiosity, I thought we collectively agreed not to bring “This”, and other underwhelmimg comments, to Lemmy. Why does this “This” have so many upvotes? Why not just upvote the OP of the thread? Is it a demographic thing? Is Lemmy gaining enough popularity that the Upvoters are unaware of the history of Lemmy’s complaints against Reddit that led to (in our view as) its downfall? Or does “This” and it’s related Upvoters mean Lemmy bots and Lemmy farms are already rampant?
Edit: Or, looking at the post history, maybe this was bait for me and I gobbled it up. If DMs are a thing here and anyone has recommendations for positive and enriching communities, I’m keen to explore and find fulfilling engagement! Getting a bit disenchanted by Lemmy/the internet in general. Are niche hobby communities the only wholesome, silly spaces left on the internet? The irony is not lost on me that my post is negative in itself. Just trying to find a place with good people to feel a bit of belonging.
Crackpot idea - if you’re both already paying for therapy individually and had limited success with couples therapy (assuming the couples therapist was not one of your therapists), maybe your therapists be open to having a session with the four of you?
You already have rapport with them and they know your individual histories so could save a lot of time setting the stage that way. Would be interesting seeing what the therapists would say to each other. Or if meeting isn’t possible, maybe could ask your therapists if they’d contact each other to help gain insight?
Sorry you’re going through this. She sounds like she’s being callous.
If you do decide there’s a shred of hope and desire to saving this relationship and all you can change is yourself, then I can offer what has helped my partner and I. Building a habit of affection without the expectation of sex. As in, not lingering too long waiting for the other to “signal the go ahead” for sex. Just a quick but meaningful hug or kiss when nearby, then going back to minding our own business. Also keeping on top of the chores and decisions. Partial contributor to our dead bedroom was because there is nothing more unsexy than thinking of all the things that still need doing. If there’s been a dynamic that she feels like she’s had to run the household (making sure chores are done, meal planning, groceries are bought and put away, social things organized, birthdays are remembered, etc) then she might feel like your mother. And obviously women are biologically wired not to be attracted to their children.