TLDR: offside position + affect play = offside offside position: closer to opposing goal line than both the ball and the second last defender (includes the keeper)

offsides dont apply to goal kicks (but they do apply to punts), throw-ins, indirect free kicks (but not direct free kicks) and when the player in question is in his own half.

if the ball is passed backwards, you’re never offside. you don’t have to touch the ball to affect play. the keeper doesn’t have to be the last defender. when it’s too close to call, ref doesn’t pull back play and waits for VAR. good strikers play on the shoulder of the last defender to remain onside. offside is not a foul, it’s a non bookable offence.

HELPFUL SCENARIOS ball passed forward, keeper is on his line, you’re in front of the last defender other than the keeper, off. ball passed backwards, same situation, on. ball passed forward, in line with second last defender, on. keeper comes off his line and is the second last defender, there is a defender on the line, you’re between them, off. on a corner, only the keeper is on his line, you’re directly in front of him, and closer to him than anyone else. teammate scores, off (you’re obstructing the keeper’s vision). teammate makes a forward pass, you’re off, another teammate gets to it, on. same situation but you prevented a defender from getting to the ball first, off.

OFFSIDE TRAP on a direct free kick, all defending players run away from their goal right before the taker contacts the ball. attacking players are left stranded all in offside positions. popularised by arsenal in the 2010s. rarely used now because high risk low reward. or when the last defender stops in his tracks right before the final pass is about to be played, to catch the attacker offside. still done nowadays because it’s more effective in open play then on a dead ball.

EXTRA offside was not a rule a very long time ago leading to 1-2-7 formations and the like, and blokes just thundercunting it down the pitch into the opposition box, with very high scorelines. it evolved into teams not being able to pass forward at all (rugby rules), then the third last defender version, then the modern day one. if your boyfriend is watching the prem, he’ll be shouting at the telly a lot because the refs are dumber than a doorknob. shout with him. 👍

milner: leeds, newcastle, villa, city, liverpool, brighton