I’m watching today’s City vs Tottenham game and wondering if this is the first time we are seeing alien playing football. The body of Jack Grealish is so unique that even on the slightest touch his whole structure transforms into a unique artistic shape.

Sometimes just a tap on the back is enough for him to enter the “parachute pose” and prepare himself for landing.

https://preview.redd.it/t2biurysk44c1.png?width=746&format=png&auto=webp&s=d884df6c7cb8c00cecde7d2863a6ccb0c8763f06

But things get surreal when sudden gentle wind gusts hit his back and he transforms into a ballet dancer.

https://preview.redd.it/9izedb16l44c1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=984810b45a963cb83952ee857b4f0ca026e9d2e9

What do you guys think? Is he a shape-shifter? Is he possessed by Harry Potter magic? Is there a need to introduce another VAR just for him? Can anyone from the world of men stop him?

PS: Simon Hooper, you are utterly incompetent and the last-minute decision against my shape-shifter boy is a disgrace.

  • Fine_Structure5396@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    11 months ago

    I don’t know how anyone can be both that outrageous rich and that good looking as him. Must have done a deal with some entity like Satan or Cthulhu or Sauron.

  • Business-Poet-2684@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    11 months ago

    You must have missed his best work earlier this season. Somebody slammed a toilet door at the emptihad and he performed a wonderful triple pirouette followed by a downward pike! This was only matched by his ‘phoenix’ like resurrection when no free kick was given!

  • Fat_Gerrard@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    11 months ago

    It’s when you get a brown nose on commentary that says “he’s so good at winning free kicks” haha absolute floor magnet always looking for it.

  • lordFourthHokage@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    11 months ago

    He is a natural born swimmer like Phelps but stuck in the wrong sport.

    Can’t judge a fish by how it climbs a tree

  • maver1kUS@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    11 months ago

    Water, 35 liters; carbon, 20 kilograms; ammonia, 4 liters; lime, 1.5 kilograms; phosphorus, 800 grams; salt, 250 grams; saltpeter, 100 grams; sulfur, 80 grams; fluorine, 7.5; iron, 5; silicon, 3 grams; and trace amounts of 15 other elements.

  • fediverser@alien.topEnglish
    1·
    11 months ago

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