• Mossy Feathers (They/Them)@pawb.social
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    1 year ago

    As a human, I think it is okay to eat people. Humans are currently overpopulating our planet and have completely taken over. We don’t need that many humans. As a human, I may be very silly and cute, but when my species gets together to do something, we tend to make a big mess of it and just ruin everything. So we must reduce our population one way or another. Additionally, imagine how much meat one of us might have on our bones? Perhaps not as much as a cow, but when there are billions of us then that’s like, billions of pounds of meat! Wow! You like meat right? I know I do. That’s a lot of meat and it’s just right there. I know that personally if any small dinosaurs came up to me and started chewing on my legs I’d let them do it. I don’t need all my meat, you know?

    Go green, eat human. Mother nature will thank you!

    Sincerely,

    - a human

    Edit: oh no! I have made the human mistake of accidently saying I like meat on a vegan community post. This was a mistake because vegans do not like meat. I do not understand this because humans eat meat like all superior species. I do not understand why a human would want to eat only plants like human prey animals. I am a human and I like human meat, as it should be.

    Edit 2: you know what, fuck this, y’all are way too dense. In what reality do people talk the way I was? Congrats, y’all ruined it.

    Edit 3: since you only want very serious answers here’s a serious answer: the problem with human meat has less to do with morals or ethics and more to do with health and safety. Because you are a human, eating human meat, you can contract whatever diseases the human had before death if the meat is undercooked.

    Additionally, there are a lot of parasites, like the lowly tapeworm, which are “”“safe”“” when a human consumes tainted animal meat; because the tapeworm thinks it’s in a human and is content to hangout in your intestines. However, if you consume tapeworm eggs that were laid by a “human” tapeworm, the tapeworms that hatch will think they’re in a pig and will have no issues burrowing through your muscles, internal organs and brain.

    Another factor is that you are what you eat. There is a reason why humans typically don’t eat other predators like lions or tigers, and that’s because toxins like heavy metals tend to bioaccumulate in them.

    Finally, most importantly, for reasons beyond my weak understanding of medical science, humans carry a high risk of prion diseases. Unlike the issues of parasites and diseases, you can not cook a human well enough to eliminate prions and still eat it. The human would be nothing more than ash because you’d have to cook the meat at thousands of degrees to destroy any potential prions the human might have been carrying. These are not something you fuck with. You cannot cure a prion disease. If you have the misfortune of eating something that has been contaminated with a prion, and one of your cells decided to do something with said prion, the only solution is to put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye. You are now a dead man walking. You cannot be cured. A prion is not a virus. It is not a parasite, bacteria, or any form of fungus. It is simply a misfolded protein that your body thinks it can do something with. You will die. Your brain will look like swiss cheese. You will forget everyone you know and love, and there will be nothing you can do about it. Not only that, but again, for reasons beyond my understanding of medical science, your body will use that misfolded protein as a blueprint and will misfold other proteins to make them look like the prion. Your body will become a 3d printer for prions. Anyone who consumes your body will die.

    • Dontfearthereaper123@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      I’m not a vegan but saying “humans eat meat like all superior species” is so weird bro like superior in what way?

      • Mossy Feathers (They/Them)@pawb.social
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        1 year ago

        Yes, yes! Humans are superior because they eat meat! Just like small dinosaurs do! But I eat more meat than they do. It is not fair. So I should share my meat with them! I do not need all of my human meat. I sit at my human computer all day, I do not need my human legs. If any small dinosaurs hid under my desk and ate my legs, I would not mind. They are hungry and need my meat, so I will let them have it.

        !wow y’all are dense.!<

          • Stoneykins [any]@mander.xyz
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            1 year ago

            You are arguing with someone who is roleplaying.

            They are, as far as I can tell, pretending to be some small dinosaur which is in turn pretending to be a human on the internet. It is a bit character.

              • Stoneykins [any]@mander.xyz
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                1 year ago

                Sorry I had to just deadpan describe what you were doing. Normally it would be a mood killer, and I would avoid doing that, but the mood in here is already rancid.

                • Mossy Feathers (They/Them)@pawb.social
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                  1 year ago

                  Yeah, it’s okay, it wasn’t your fault. I honestly should have checked the community before posting because I just showed up here from the all communities feed and thought I was in /c/196 or something. It’s why I made the original edit to my post. The, “you’d be okay with eating humans then, right?” is such a played-out meme anyway. There are a lot of reasons why eating humans is an extremely bad idea; anyone posing that question unironically probably isn’t going to have a sense of humor anyway.

      • DroneRights [it/its]@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        I think they’re satirising carnists, who think that eating animals is okay because of biological supremacy but won’t admit it.

        • Mossy Feathers (They/Them)@pawb.social
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          1 year ago

          Eh, kinda. It more has to do with the fact that there are a lot of problems with eating human meat from a health and safety standpoint and it kinda blows my mind that people still use, “so it’s okay to eat humans then, right?” unironically. It’s a little bit of column A (making fun of carnists), a little bit of column B (making fun of the, “human meat” argument), and a little bit of a hidden column C (I like smol raptors and I firmly believe that they’d be on the same level as cats and dogs when it comes to pet popularity if they were still around). I was actually considering making a shitty drawing of a bunch of raptors at a computer or in a trench coat with a human mask or something, but the joke’s kinda ruined at this point.

      • cricket97@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        humans are superior because we have tamed out environment to a degree that no other animal has been able to do. we are the top of the food chain and are in control.

        • Dontfearthereaper123@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          We are controlled by our pets. We have laws that force us to take care of our pets and enforcement called the police to ensure these laws are followed and the best part is the entire species is so dumb and inferior that it doesn’t realise it.

          • cricket97@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            not sure what point you are trying to make. I hope you aren’t implying that because we have laws preventing people from abusing their pets that somehow pets are at the top of the food chain

            • Dontfearthereaper123@lemm.ee
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              1 year ago

              The point I’m trying to make is humans aren’t superior. I don’t genuinely believe pets are at the top of the food chain but I also don’t believe humans are superior. Superior has connotations of looking down on the rest to me that maybe it doesn’t have to you.

      • Mossy Feathers (They/Them)@pawb.social
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        1 year ago

        I do not understand! I am not a cunt, I am a human, just like you! It is okay if you eat plants, but you won’t grow big and fat if you only eat plants. More fat = more energy which means as a human, I am very tasty and filling! I respect my fellow predators and I want to ensure my meat is as tasty as I can make it. If any small dinosaurs showed up on my human doorstep and asked to come in, I would let them! They are very nice and like humans and will not hurt me, because I am a human and they like me because of that. So I am not a cunt, I am a very considerate human being who cares about their fellow species.

        What is a cunt?

    • aidan@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      What’s wrong with humans taking over? How is it your place to decide how many humans we need? Why must we reduce the population? Who is we? And how do humans mess things up?