• Tanis Nikana@lemmy.world
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    15 days ago

    “I’m a stand-up comic.”

    “Ooh! Heckle me!”

    “I don’t know anything about you and don’t wanna say anything mean about you. Just enjoy the moment without getting a performer to do free work for you.”

    “You’re no fun.”

    “Don’t have to be on all the time, let me eat my burger.”

    • EnderMB@lemmy.world
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      15 days ago

      I imagine you get these questions all the time, but how did you get into stand-up, and how did you get the guts to get up on a stage and try to be funny?

      I love the idea of stand-up comedy, but I’ve been to a few open mic nights and it almost always seems like drunk people showing off, people that are hilariously unfunny, or people in the crowd that try to shit on anyone remotely trying to entertain.

      • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.world
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        15 days ago

        I started out as a quizmaster, telling quiz for a night a week. I’d open my show with a new 45-second bit each week, built audience numbers over time.

        Then I realized I’d been doing this for years, and was an incredibly prolific comic! I had enough material I could just walk out onto a stage and just lengthen out my opening bits, cause I no longer had a quiz to tell that night!

  • 🖖USS-Ethernet@startrek.website
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    16 days ago

    Me: I’m in IT (trying to keep it simple)

    Them: OK, but what do you do in IT?

    Me: I’m a system administrator (again trying to keep it simple)

    Them: I don’t know what that means. What does a system administrator do?

    Me: I work on servers (again, trying to keep it simple)

    Them: What’s a server?

    Me: I’m in IT…

  • gencha@lemm.ee
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    14 days ago

    Explaining my job is trivial compared to the insanity I cook up in my spare time.

    Oh, so you like gaming? No, I’m actually not playing the game. I’m building a mod for it. Erm, okay, so this is for other players then? No, I’m mostly building it for myself. Ah, so you haven’t put a lot of time into it yet? Roughly 12 years. What? So what does the mod do then? It plays the game for me, and publishes in-game metrics to a monitoring application, so that I can see the progress of the game in an abstract form while I’m on the couch, thinking about how to optimize the automation further.

    Regular fun stuff.

  • pixelscript@lemm.ee
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    16 days ago

    I’m a software developer. My default explanation to people who don’t know what that means is, “I whisper to computers, and sometimes they do what I ask”.

    • AA5B@lemmy.world
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      15 days ago

      As DevOps , I whisper to a room full of computers to do what you told them plus do what some others tell you to break what you did, then run a big hammer over it, and hand all the pieces back to you

    • monkeyman512@lemmy.world
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      15 days ago

      My experience is that it almost always does what I ask. The problem is that some times I don’t ask it to do what I want it to do in the exact way it will understand.

      • pixelscript@lemm.ee
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        15 days ago

        “Stop doing what I told you to do and start doing what I want you to do!” has been uttered in my office a few times.

  • Sundial@lemm.ee
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    15 days ago

    Yep.

    Network engineer here. I can’t count the number of times my mom says I’m in programming.

    After a few years, my wife figured out the best way to describe my job. Doctor of the internet. This was because I was working in operations at the time and would fix network outages regularly.

  • 93maddie94@lemm.ee
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    16 days ago

    When I say I’m a school librarian, most people can make a connection and have an understanding. And as long as their next comment isn’t some Fox News bullshit (which was real fun at my grandmother’s funeral), I can usually leave it at that.

    But the actual day-to-day complexities of what I do isn’t going to be understood. Most days I am checking out over 400 books to students, which means my volunteers, me, and my para (assistant) are checking in and reshelving over 400 books each morning. That’s over 800 books scanned each day. Then, I am also teaching six 45-minute classes every day and I see each student in our school (over 700) twice a week in those classes. So I am planning and prepping for those classes, teaching those classes, and running the book checkout. Not to mention managing behaviors and helping some of our new students (especially kindergarten) understand the expectations of the library. I am currently planning our book fair happening in a few weeks, getting ready to start my after school club, facilitating a $500 per grade level order for books and supplies, fielding sales phone calls, balancing my ~$10K budget, and being the team lead which involves monthly meetings to attend, twice a month meetings to run, and many additional emails. So yes, I do read to kids and let them take books home, but that’s nowhere near the end of my to-do list.

  • kubok@fedia.io
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    16 days ago

    I recently told a seven year old that I am a wizard. I already have the beard and being a programmer, that is exactly what my customers feel about my work.

  • ieatmeat@lemmy.world
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    16 days ago

    Oh yes, I usually end up saying “I work in insurance” because any more specific than that and people look at me with question marks in their faces

    • Arsinoe@lemmy.world
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      15 days ago

      Same here! It gets complicated very quickly, so I usually just say “I work in insurance” and leave it there unless they ask more questions. If they do, it doesn’t take long before their eyes start to glaze over and I change the topic to something more accessible.

      • ieatmeat@lemmy.world
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        13 days ago

        It’s nice to find a fellow “insurance worker” amidst all them software engineers/ IT guys here on Lemmy 😄

  • stringere@sh.itjust.works
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    15 days ago

    I cast spells that make the runes etched in sand translate the energy of magic stones into dancing light.

    Usually I just tell people that I work in IT and leave it at that.

    • mlg@lemmy.world
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      15 days ago

      “Hey so does that mean you can fix my laptop and make my next gen app idea for free?”